The World of Seren and John

A New Year, a New Semester

2012-01-23T23:32:00.000-08:00

Tonight was the first night back to school for myself. I have only one year left of the Master's program. Last semester was a rough one for me. Not that it was difficult, but it was that I had no motivation to make it through. Oddly enough, I had a class that I loved and then another class that was fairly easy. I think I just needed to make it over the hump. Well, I've made it over that hump, and it's all downhill from here. :)

Last semester I kind of felt like I was a bag blowing in the wind. (Get it?) I didn't really know where I was going with this degree I will eventually get. Not only that, but I was having doubts if this was really the right career path for myself. Would I be a good teacher? Can I help struggling students in reading? Thankfully, however, I felt much differently tonight. I feel I have a plan, whereas before I was just kind of going with the flow.

There are a handful of things I feel strongly about in life. Parenting and education are at the top of the list. I'd say I'm pretty easy going and most often keep my beliefs to myself, even about issues I'm passionate about. Everyone is entitled to parent how they see fit, I mean of course they are, it's their child! However, if I can help educate some parents, then I would feel a small sense of pride. I think that's why I love working where I work. Even if a parent does things differently than how I would, I still enjoy sharing my experiences with them, and also hearing theirs. So, while I was in class tonight, it hit me. My dream job would be to teach teen moms. I would also like to teach at either the city college level, or even adult education. I'm not sure how helpful my degree would be, as it's in Education, but with a Reading and Language Arts emphasis, but I'm pretty sure it will be my ticket in. I'd love to teach children's lit at City, or parenting to teen moms. Or heck, even both! Maybe I could teach others how to teach reading, because I'm so well versed in that. (Please note sarcasm.) Better yet, I can be a push in reading teacher in the school districts. Simply wonderful the doors that are open for me!

At any rate, it doesn't matter what I do with my degree, it just matters that I feel confident in getting it, because I really was doubtful for a while there.

I'm now realizing that I'm going to have to say goodbye to the social life I've had these past few weeks, as I'm going to have to get back to the nitty gritty that is school work. I've enjoyed the free time and sleep that I've gotten, but I have a feeling that is over. No more being caught up on my TV shows, no more fun reading. (Aside from a project I'm doing with a friend.) Oh, and probably a little less of the blogging. But really, how much less can I blog? ;)

Cheers to a great semester ahead! (I'm going to need a pep talk to remind me of this a month or so down the road....Feel free to encourage me.)

Reflecting

2012-01-10T21:17:00.000-08:00

I started this blog way back in June of 2004. (Holy cow, it's been 7 years!) I remember the main reason I wanted to write it was because I had a toddler, and I was wanting a way to keep track of her development and cute things she did. For some reason I thought blogging would be easier than writing in her baby book. A friend at work (the library) told me about blogging. I loved the idea from the start. She said it was an online journal, kind of like a public diary. Well, growing up I LOVED writing in a diary. I have always loved the written word, be it my own words, or the words of others. A big dream of mine has always been to become a writer. (Probably not going to happen....It's like singing, everyone thinks they have talent.) So, when she told me about blogging, I was ALL IN! This was just before blogging became popular. When it started to become the thing to do, I was excited because I was actually doing something cool before it was cool! ;)

Throughout the years I've used my blogs in many ways. Ooops, I said blogs. Yes, I have a few, with this one being my constant. My others are either private, anonymous or topic specific. For example, I had a blog during the time I was a surrogate. I haven't written in that blog in forever, but it's still there. (I should update it or something.)

Anyway...

I love blogging. Over the years my point of view has changed. You can sense the tone, depending on what's going on in my life. It took some growth on my part, but I had to learn what not to blog about. I've used my blog to complain about stupid things. I've used it to state my opinion on issues I feel strongly about. I've used it to post pictures of Seren, John, family and friends. I've also used my blog to make people upset. Sometimes it was intentional, most of the time it was not. The times when I've hurt family or friends, I've felt awful. Sometimes you never know how words can sting, even the unspoken word. I've had to find this fine line of blogging about my feelings, and being respectful of other's feelings. I think that's why my blog has transformed into what it is today. Today it's mainly filled with pictures and memories of my kids, which is the main reason why I started this thing in the first place. The problem is that I miss chatting about my feelings on certain issues. Sort of. At the same time I don't really want certain people knowing my feelings. Hence, the private blog.

Well, tonight I've made an exception. I've just been thinking a lot, and thinking about my blog. I've often thought of making it private, for my eyes only. I mean I share almost everything I share here on facebook anyway. Also, does anyone blog anymore? Furthermore, does anyone even read my blog anymore? I don't know, just thinking out loud.

It's been nice to write tonight. I always find writing cathartic, and tonight it's given me something to do while I sit here. I've hurt my back again, so I've been pretty immobile this evening.

It's getting late, so off to bed I go, looking forward to waking up with a normal back again.

Sweet dreams dear friends.

Looking Back

2012-01-10T17:31:00.000-08:00

Dear 2012,

I'm looking forward to what you bring. I look forward to getting my Master's Degree before the year's up. I also look forward to being much smarter than last year.

While I'm mentioning last year, I'd like to say that I hope you treat me better than that stinkin ole 2011. I think the fact that 2011 was odd, it had a bit of a grudge on its shoulder, and it showed. Albeit, 2010 was hellish, and I'd like to never repeat it, I think 2011 was only a tad better.

While driving today, I was thinking back on people who have affected my life, realizing that they all have defined who I am today. I know it sounds like a cliche, but now I know why people say it, because it's true. I've had wonderful relationships. I've also had crummy relationships, and even those relationships have helped shape me into who I am. I've learned from every situation. I may make the same mistakes, but I learn something new each time.

Thankfully, I didn't lose anyone in 2011. (I don't mean lose as in I can't find them, I mean they've gone on to that magical carpet ride in the sky.) However, others in my family have. So, 2012, I'd like to plead to you in that we don't lose anyone this year. I'd like to cherish the time I have with my loved ones, so please allow me (us) that time.

I know a lot of people make promises to you, Even Steven 2012, but I have to say, that's not me. I have no resolutions. Wait, I take that back. I resolve to finish a book I've been working on since summer! There, take that 2012, I'm going to finish a book! I love making resolutions I know I can keep. ;) Even though I don't make new year's resolutions, I do have desires, goals, dreams, so hopefully some of those come to fruition.

As I sit here, thinking, isn't it funny how things change from year to year, moment to moment? I look back and think how naive I've been at times. When you're young, you think differently, and boy did I. I bet I'll look back in 10 years and think the same thing about my 33 year old self.

Anyway, to 2012, I say again, I look forward to what you bring. I'm excited for the adventures ahead and I hope they are all filled with cupcakes and sprinkles. But only good cuppie cakes. Who wants a year filled with ugly, dry, crumbly cupcakes? Surely not me.

And don't call me Shirley.

Zoolights!

2011-12-19T23:06:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm on break, I can actually catch up with happenings this month. When I'm in school I have to prioritize, so some things kind of fall to the wayside. So, enjoy the next 3 posts that tell of all the fun we've had this month! :)

The past weekend we went to the zoo for their annual Zoolights. This is where they open the zoo up at night during Christmas time, and post lights all around. We went the first year they did this, then again this year to celebrate our friend's birthday!!! It was a lot of fun. We didn't see any animals, since they were sleeping, but we weren't really there to see them anyway. We wanted to see the lights! :)

Here is the first picture I took. Beckie was so kind to get the kids special effect glasses. If you look closely, you'll see reindeer around the lights. I LOVED this!

The entrance to the main part of the zoo.

Look at the little snowman. Look familiar? ;)

My darling Serensita.

All the kids in a gingerbread house.

Friends enjoying hot chocolate. <3

Everyone.

These are the way I like to look at the flamingos. These guys don't smell as badly as the real ones do.

(Love the Grinch in the background.)

When at the zoo, be a monkey.

John and his favorite guy.

My favorite guy.

Merry Christmas and....

Decorating and Gingerbread House Fun!

2011-12-19T22:49:00.000-08:00

We started decorating for Christmas on the 1st of December. It was fun to play Christmas music, decorate and make cookies. It really was a wonderful evening with the kiddos.

Here are the cookies we made to celebrate. I think we were just doing a test run for Christmas Eve. ;)

Seren decorate this part all by herself. She was so proud!

My front door wreath.

My first time ever decorating the outside of anywhere I've lived! :)

The finished product. I love my little tree.

It was cute watching John decorate the tree, as all of his ornaments were in the same spot-in the front, at the bottom (at his level). ;)

That weekend we had friends over for our usual girl's night out. After we had dinner, the kiddos decorated a gingerbread house. They had so much fun!

Somewhat of a finished product. I know it's not perfect, but the kids did it all by themselves and they were very proud!

The finished product. Look closely, however, as someone's head is missing. ;)

Christmas Fun!

2011-12-19T22:35:00.000-08:00

A week (or two, the days sometimes blend) ago I took the kids to go see Santa and take a drive down Christmas Tree Lane. John didn't sleep for his usual nap time, so he was a bit cranky once we actually got to see Santa. He was happy right until, then didn't want to talk to him once it was our turn. I ended up in the picture, but don't like the way I look, soooooo.......Yeah, I'm not posting the picture. ;) Anyway, after a visit with Santa, we went to dinner, then headed over to Christmas Tree Lane. At the very end there is always Santa, and John was super happy to see him there, and didn't want to let go of him. Awwww. He's so cute because he thought it was the same Santa. I just love him so.

Here's John after our first visit with Santa. He's so happy here!!!

We have walked this before, but the past couple of years we've been driving down. The kids really, really loved it this year! :)

One of John's favorite decorations.

One of Seren's favorite decorations. This was towards the end and was pretty awesome! I should have taken a video, but didn't think about it until it was too late. Either way, you can still enjoy part of the beauty.

Since John is so enamored with Santa, I bought him these super cute pajamas. When he got them he just wanted to hold them for a couple days, not wanting to wear them. He was so happy, it was cute. :) Here he is waiting for me to make him all better, as we were playing doctor and he was being the sick patient. So stinkin cute!

My two loves!

(Picture taken at Grandma & Grandpa's.)

What a Difference a Year Makes

2011-12-18T23:00:00.000-08:00

Whew! I made it through another school year! This past week was my last class for the semester. I have now completed 3 semesters in the Master's program, which means I only have one more year left! My year of hard work has paid off, and hopefully this time next year I'll be sporting a new diploma! :) I'm super proud of the work I've done this year, especially since the semester prior to this one was much more difficult.

Most everyone knows that I've been through a tough year. This was the first full year without Seren's dad. She experienced many "firsts" without him. The other day at work I heard a teenage girl call her dad Daddy. It made me sad, knowing that Seren won't have that relationship with her father. Anyway...Even though this was a big year for her, she managed fine. I made sure she was loved and supported when I thought she might have difficulties. I think the thing that's made the most difference is that we have a happy, structured home.

Speaking of...

I've lived in these apartments for one year now. When I moved in, I was under the assumption I was starting things anew. Well, we all know how that turned out, since my divorce was final this past July. I like my home and I've now made it mine. My home makes my heart happy.

As I look forward to the new year, I look back on this past year with a certain kind of fondness. Because of the difficulties I've had, I'm in a better place. Today my relationship with God is different than how it was at the beginning of the year. My relationship with my friends is different as well. I'm closer to them all. I look back with love, knowing I've always been supported and encouraged. For my friends, I am thankful. I am also thankful for the beginning of the year because it was the hardest, which meant that the rest of the year was going to be a piece of cake! And guess what? It was!!!!! :) July started what would end up being a good 6 months.

So, as I look forward to 2012, I'm eager of what's to come. I'm thankful for the lessons learned this year, and I send out love and gratitude to my family and friends. But most importantly, I'm thankful for my kiddos, who give me the best love of all. :)

Thanksgiving and Halloween 2011

2011-11-27T00:59:00.001-08:00

Well, friends, the holidays are upon us yet again. I always say around July that Christmas is right around the corner....And it sure is!

I have pretty happy memories of holidays. During all my troubles growing up, there was always one thing for certain-holiday family time. Then, when I became an adult, I still made it memorable. Sometimes my holidays are spent with lots of people and sometimes with just a few. Over the past 10+ years, I've spent many a holiday with my immediate family, and/or with my friends. For a while there, I was a staple at my good friend Tina's house for Thanksgiving, and it was always so peaceful. Those were some of my favorite years. (Except for the one time I went to Disneyland for Thanksgiving-before I had kiddos.) This year was no different. It was filled with peace and love.

This year the day started off with one of my besties, Chrissy, coming over to visit. We then went to my grandparents' house for a traditional turkey dinner (er, um, lunch). Afterwards, we hung out for a bit back at my place until John went with his dad. Once he left, Seren and I got to hang out with our other besties, Beckie and family. We went to see the new Muppet movie and it was so stinkin cute! We were suppose to have Chinese food for dinner, but no places were open, so we ended up at IHOP, which was fine. I had to leave early to go get John, and we all met up back at my place again. It was a full day and night! I was able to spend time with family and some of my dearest friends. It was a wonderful day off and my heart was truly happy.

While Chrissy was here, she took a family picture of us. I just love this. I think it'll be my Christmas card. Although, here it is on the internet. Maybe I can just send out cards with a link attached? ;)

Seren wanted her hair done, so I curled it. She looked so adorable!

And now, since I've neglected to blog about it, let's rewind all the way back to Halloween. John was with his dad for Halloween this year, and we spent the evening with Beckie and her kiddos. It was nice for them to come over. We headed over to my grandparents' neighborhood, which is right across from where I live. Even though John was with his dad, I did happen to run into him while he was out trick or treating, which was nice. Actually, I didn't even recognize him because I wasn't really paying attention to the other kids. It was Beckie who noticed him first. Funny. Anyway, it was a nice night. Low key, small neighborhood and just the right amount of candy. After a week I ended up taking the leftovers to work. I had Seren's permission, but I would have done it anyway. I'm such a mean mom. Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh. (Once you see the movie I'm referencing, you'll laugh.)

Here was the outside of our front door around Halloween time. Look at all our pumpkins! :)

One house we stumbled upon while trick or treating.

The crew. ;)

It really was a fun night. :)

So now I stand by my original statement......Christmas is right around the corner!!!

Fall is Here!

2011-11-11T11:17:00.001-08:00

I'm totally loving this weather!

Yesterday the kids I met some friends at the zoo. The weather was perfect and we got to see lots of animals out and about. Of course, we spent a lot of time in the Dino Dig, but that's okay. I got to chit chat with my friend while the kids played. It was a great day!

Then, last night we went (with different friends) to the Tower District to indulge in some yummy dinner and dessert. We ended the night in sweaters, but it wasn't freezing quite yet.

I realize that this weather is mild compared to what others experience. However, I'm definitely a California girl, and when it gets a bit colder, I turn into a baby. I would NOT survive on the East Coast. Heck, even during the day I turn my heater on to 76. Summer time? I keep the air set at 80, sometimes 78 if I'm really hot. ;)

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this time of year. I love when it starts to get colder, that's when I know the holidays are right around the corner! The other day I got in the car and craved the sounds of Christmas music. This morning I broke out the soundtrack to Love Actually, which is as close to Christmas music I'm going to get this early in the season. It just gets me all excited! There will be great food to be had, extra time with close friends, lots and lots of baking going on! The only sad thing? I wish my family were closer. I have my grandparents here, but I miss my aunt, my mom and my brother and sisters. Everyone is so spread out!

I see a trip in my future. :)

Side by Side

2011-11-01T17:38:00.000-07:00

I often hear how much Seren looks like me. I also hear often how much John looks like his dad.

The truth is, I think Seren looks just like her father. She may have some of my facial features (not sure which ones), but her demeanor and walk is all her father's. Not to mention she has his hands and feet.

When I sent out John's birthday party invitations, I used this picture below. I gave one to a co-worker and he said, "Oh, he looks just like you." I said, "You think?" I don't normally hear that, but the older John's gotten, the more I am seeing the Reta side to him. I have often thought that he looks like my brother when he was little. I also think he looks like my cousins, when they were little. I think it's the dark hair. Anyway, the other day I was on facebook, cleaning out some of my pictures when I came across these two side by side. The one on the left is of me, on my mom's lap when I was 5 or so. I was kinda surprised to see how much John does actually look like me when I was little! It makes me so happy that he has some of my genes in him, because he does have a lot of his father's genes as well. I think he has his dad's feet, just like Seren has her dad's feet. I must have a lot of recessive genes in me, that don't get passed along to my littles, or at least don't show until now! ;)

Awww, I was such a cutie when I was little. And John is such a cutie now. :)

Carving Pumpkins!

2011-10-30T23:27:00.000-07:00

Well, just like many of my friends, we carved our pumpkins tonight. I wanted to wait until pretty close to Halloween, so they wouldn't get moldy, and since John was with his dad this weekend, tonight was the best night.

Here's Seren cutting into hers. This year she cut out the face all by herself! She's never done that before! I'm so proud. :)

Seren showing brother how it's done. ;)

Ewwww!!!!

I know some people think this is weird, but I LOVE the inside of a pumpkin. Look at how cool this looks! Oh, and to smell it! Simply wonderful. :)

The inside of my pumpkin-Just like a snowflake, no 2 are alike. ;)

One of John's pumpkins. We had 5 pumpkins total, and to have one less to carve was actually pretty nice. When I saw this at the store, I knew I had to get it, as one of John's favorite movies is Toy Story.

My pumpkin. I don't usually come up with creative carvings. The only reason I came up with this is because my original idea didn't come out well. So, I had to fix my mistake and make the eyes really big. Turns out I like what I did. :)

Seren's pumpkin.

The back of her pumpkin. <3

All lit up and nowhere to go. ;) Seren's pumpkin. Looks good!

My pumpkin.

My pumpkin with 2 littler pumpkins. ;)

Happy Halloween!

John's Favorite Things!

2011-10-29T10:05:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was John's 3rd birthday. Awww, my sweet boy is now 3. For his actual birthday we stayed home and relaxed. I was pooped from his party on Thursday, so I enjoyed the day off with him yesterday. I got lots of snuggles and love from him all day long. It was a perfect way to celebrate his birth as I remember that day well! I was thinking about his birth yesterday and I was thinking how a birth story is a memory every mom has, and is willing to share. (I won't be sharing now, but it was the best birth I've had so far.) Anyway, I'm excited that we've entered a new age, which brings new experiences, but I still miss my little baby boy.

Look at my sweet baby on his birth day. <3

Now look at him today. Such a big boy!

For his birthday party this year I decided to do a "John's Favorite Things" party. I incorporated a few of his favorite things into one party. We did food with a Star Wars theme, goody bags with a Toy Story theme, E&M Reptiles came to do a show and all the kids came dressed in their favorite costume. It was so much fun, and I loved putting it all together!!! The best part? The party was small (with only 10 kiddos) so the kids got to spend a lot of time with the reptiles and I got to enjoy the party with John. It was perfect. :)

Here are the goody bags.

For the food part of the party, I got my ideas from justJENN and this site. I bought the jpeg file from their Etsy store, which helped personalize the party.

Yoda and Darth Vader cupcakes.

The food "table." I also had "Pizza the Hutt" but didn't take pictures of that.

(Looks like this picture is blurry, sorry!)

Welcoming our friends!

Eric from E&M!

John getting to know the stick bugs! So fun!

Ribbit!

Seren, laughing at this guy. This is my all time favorite picture!

Kisses!

Seren getting to know the snake a little better. ;)

Singing happy birthday to John. He was singing along with us, it was too cute.

Mama and the birthday boy!

Happy 3rd birthday to my sweet John-John.

Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I took the kids to the pumpkin patch. Over the years I've taken Seren (and then John) to a ton of different ones around town. We've been to ones where we cut the pumpkins straight from the vine, and we've been to ones where there are educational tours. We've been through hay and corn mazes, all of which the kiddos love. However, we tend to like the one on the corner of Shaw and Blackstone best. The kids like the hay maze, bouncy houses and pony rides. It's like a mini carnival. This year we even walked away with a sno-cone! Only in California! ;)

Here are some of our pictures.

The poor kids had the sun in their eyes, so I'm sure they were thinking, "Hurry up and take the picture!" ;)

I really like this picture of John.

On the way to the corn maze.

At the beginning of the maze. John ended up finding our way out!

On the pirate ship bouncy house. John and Seren LOVED this thing!

John on the pony. He rode last year too, but this year he was on it all by himself, like a big boy!

Seren on the pony. :)

My family!

We left the pumpkin patch tired and sweaty. The above picture was taken right before we left and you can tell John was done. We left with 14 mini pumpkins (for John's party), 2 small pumpkins and 2 big ones. We're going to have a blast carving them this weekend! :)

Growing Up!

2011-10-23T16:43:00.000-07:00

Well, my Baby John is no longer my "baby." Friday he will be 3 years old and there have been lots of new growth recently!

John's speech is much, much better since he's been in speech therapy. He has aged out of his current program, and will now start at our local school. His speech therapist was super nice and I just loved her. She even said John was her favorite (I'm sure she tells all her clients that). I'm really sad we will no longer see her, but I'm super thankful to her for all of her help. It's so nice to be able to finally have a conversation with my little one. <3

Other news.....John's potty trained!!! Yippie!!! I tried to start the process shortly after he turned 2. Seren was potty trained by the time she was 2, and it was easy with her. I knew that boys took longer, but it was pretty clear that he wasn't ready. I had the potty sitting out in our living room so he'd get use to it. Sometimes he'd sit on it, other times he wouldn't. He never used it, though. He'd cry when I'd try to put him on my toilet, so I just let it be. I knew he wouldn't be in college and still be in diapers, so I wasn't too worried. A few months ago John's dad said he was going to start potty training him while he was at his house. I still didn't think he was ready, but I knew when he was it would take. Also, his dad has all the parts and John might be more receptive to his dad teaching him. Around Seren's birthday John's dad told me John was in undies. Once that happened, I knew he was ready. He's been in undies for the past few weeks and I would say he's completely potty trained! He tells me when he has to go number 1 and 2. He doesn't have accidents at all anymore. He wakes up dry, both after nap and after sleeping all night. How exciting, he's such a big boy! (When I tell him he's a big boy he tells me, "No, I John!")

Earlier today we all went out to eat at Sweet Tomatoes, and when I went to pay for John I realized he's only free for 4 more days! Awwww, my sweet, sweet boy is growing up. He can do things he couldn't do before, like whistle and count to 10 (and a bit higher). He's so loving and kind and my favorite words he says to me are, "I wuv ewe too." What joy he has brought to my life.

Sad News

2011-10-13T22:29:00.000-07:00

Seren's grandpa, on her father's side, passed away today. She was able to meet him this summer when she went out to visit. I am so grateful for that. It's very, very sad, as his wife lost her husband of over 40 years, just a year after she lost her son. She's lost her brothers, son and husband to heart disease. I pray she has strength to get through these next few days. I pray she finds comfort in the family around her. The same with Seren's uncles. They lost a father. He was a grandfather too, even to little ones. From what I've been reading on Facebook, he was truly loved and active in everyone's life. I'm so very, very sad for the family. In the sadness I also have gratitude. I'm glad that Seren was able to meet him. I'm happy her brother was able to re-connect with him. I'm thankful that Seren's dad was able to mend his relationship with him before he, himself, passed away.

This makes me think of my grandfather. He's been the single most influential male role model I've had in my life. He's in his late 70's, and I know one day he'll be gone, but I refuse to think of that day. For now I cherish the time I have with him. I cherish the time he has with John and Seren.

My heart is heavy for Seren's family. They have been family to me, and I wish I could help them in some way. For now I send them love and prayers.

Fair Fun!

2011-10-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took the kids to the fair. We love going to the fair every year, sometimes we even get to go twice! Most of the day yesterday was spent on the rides and looking at animals. Here are some of my favorite pictures.

John-John and Momma. We got to ride a ride together. :)

These cars made a loud and awful noise! Thankfully, John only rode it once.

The swings!! Seren rode this ride twice, as it's her favorite ride ever!

A smaller version of a free fall type ride. (I forget the name.) Seren and John rode it 4 times. They LOVED this ride!

The boats! Ding-ding!

Look at her smile! :)

I think this was the first ride they went on together.

All smiles after a full day of fun at the fair! I just love him!

Living Proof

2011-10-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

I saw this secret on Postsecret this weekend.

I feel proud to say that I'm a strong individual who can beat the odds!

On somewhat of a side note....I had a conversation with someone this past week. This person said to me that God has us right where He wants us. And you know what, I would completely agree with that. Sometimes things happen to us in life that are out of our control. Sometimes these things that happen to us, happen to us for a good reason. About 9 months ago, or so, I was wronged in a horrible way. 2 people hurt me deeply. It was completely uncalled for. Looking back, I see that I needed to go through some pain to get me where I am now. I am in a happy place right now. (For the most part.) I think this thing that happened to me happened to me for a reason. It was for me to be where I am at this very moment. I have gone through a period of growth, self discovery and self reflection. I've called out to God, and He's given me His love and guidance. I truly believe God has called me to be a mom right now. Not a wife to someone who doesn't appreciate or love me, but a mom to 2 wonderful children who adore me. I'm meant to be alone right now because I have some serious bonding to do. Not just with my children, but with my friends, myself and God. I'm happy that I've surrounded myself with those who love and cherish me.

So, to those 2 people who may be reading this, let me say this. Thank you. It's been horribly painful. I've hated you both at times. I've questioned why, and wondered what I could have done differently. Turns out none of this was my fault. I was the best wife I could have been. The only thing I lack is the ability to stand on my head, and I'm not sure that would have really mattered. I've realized it's not about who's "better" as a person. I realize it's about people making stupid choices. I've made a handful of stupid mistakes in my life. Most haven't hurt other people, but still, I get it. I haven't gotten to the part yet where I can forgive either of you, but I will eventually. I know I will. Until then, I keep on keeping on. Even God is telling me it's all going to be okay.

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." ~ Romans 8:28, NLT

So see, God really does have me right where He wants me.

Up, Up and Away!

2011-10-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I took Seren to the Clovis Fest to see the hot air balloons take off. This was a first for us. I've always wanted to go, but just never made it out there. When her father and I were together, we use to watch the hot air balloons take off when we lived in Southern California, but we never were able to watch here. So, when my friend asked if we wanted to go together, I was excited! We got up at the butt crack of dawn (which was difficult because I had to close at work the night before), and headed down to the Clovis Rodeo grounds. It was such a nice morning and I'm glad we went!

My favorite balloon.

We were able to watch one take off from the very beginning. See that fan on the bottom left? They used that to blow the balloon up. So simple! (But, so heavy duty.)

Getting a little closer.

Then, to get the balloon where it needed to be, they turned on the flames! We were close enough to be able to feel the heat. So cool!

Almost!

Yay, it's up!

Beautiful view. I loved that we were this close.

When the balloon lifted off the ground, the whole crowd cheered. :)

A little bit higher!

Even higher!!!

Such a pretty picture!

Seren and Samantha.

Friends!

I'm so glad we went. It was a great morning and I'm loving my time with friends, sharing new experiences! :)

Happy Birthday!

2011-10-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

My darling Serensita is now 9! I cannot believe I'm old enough to have a 9 year old. Today is her actual birthday, but we celebrated yesterday. She wanted to have her very first slumber party. So, that's what we did! :) We had 10 girls for her party, but only 6 stayed the night. Thankfully, I had my friend stay with me, just in case. The girls were actually pretty good. The only issue I really had was that they wanted to stay up all night! I'm not a night owl, so I made them go to sleep. They were all finally out at 12:30, then up at 7am! Thankfully I didn't have to work today, so all 3 of us were able to take a nap today! Thank God!

The theme this year was pink skull and cross bones. That was suppose to be the theme last year, but well, I dropped the ball on that one. With all the hoopla over her father passing away, I just went with what was easy-going out to have her party. So this year, after going back and forth on what to do, Seren decided she wanted a sleepover with a pink skull and cross bone theme. I was super happy with how it all turned out!

Here is the menu for the night. What surprised me most was that the girls were actually ordering off the menu! So funny! Thankfully I had my friends with me, so we (they) were the servers of the night. ;)

Here are the goody bags. Love them!

The next few pictures are showing how I decorated. This was, by far, one the most fun parties I was able to plan! I loved getting all the colors together. :)

I got Seren's face and name on these! So cute!!!

And now, time for cake!!!!

My friend Stacie made this cake for us, as she's made Seren's cake for the past 3 years. She did a great job, as always, and all the kids loved it!

Seren, with friend, getting ready for the big song!

Make a wish!

The best part-eating!

At one point during the evening, the girls went on a treasure hunt.

"Ye ole treasure map."

Most of the party was spent in the pool, but the best part was being able to swim at night! Who doesn't love a good night time dip in the pool?! I remember when I was little how magical it was to swim at night. Even as an adult, it was still pretty fun to sit there and watch them all. :)

After half of the girls went home, we all went up stairs to finish up the fun. They played the wii, ate, played with Seren's new toys, ate, watched a movie and, well, ate. Good grief, those girls we always hungry! Then this morning we took another dip in the pool after breakfast. After everyone left, Seren, John and myself took a much needed nap. When we woke up it was just in time for dinner, so Seren got to choose what she wanted to eat. Her first choice was Red Robin, but then she changed her mind to Sweet Tomatoes because there was more to choose from. :)

So, my darling Serensita, I hope you had a wonderful day. I hope this next year is filled with love, wonder and tons of happiness. You have a special spirit and I love you tons.

Now that this party is over, it's time to move on to John's. Having 2 kids in October means that I'm poor for the month. Geesh! At least I already know what I'm doing for his party. :)

1 Year

2011-09-22T22:32:00.000-07:00

Today is the one year anniversary of Seren's dad's death.

For the days leading up to today, I was concerned it was going to be a rough day. I kept asking Seren if she wanted to do anything, and she just kinda shrugged and didn't really have any suggestions. I didn't want to make a big deal about it if it wasn't a big deal to her, I just wanted to follow her lead. Last week she said that maybe we should "take him out of the closet." Last night she asked if she could stay home from school today. After telling her that it might be better if she went to school, she said, "It's kinda like a holiday, but without the presents." Awww, poor thing.

Well, today finally came and you know what? I'm not as emotional as I thought I would be. I've been so concerned about Seren, that I haven't really thought about my feelings about this. I'm still sad about him being gone, but it's different than it was when he first passed away. I'm still sad about Seren not having him here. I feel awful that she has no father figure in her life. I want her to grow up and be a confident young woman, not someone looking for love and finding it in all the wrong places. (Insert cheesy song, you know you want to.) I know that girls who don't have a father figure in their lives, tend to enter into unhealthy relationships, and that's my worse fear for her. The closest positive male role model she has in her life is my grandfather. She does, however, see many of my friends and their husbands be good fathers. So, hopefully that will leave an impression on her, so she'll see a good man when he crosses her path.

Anyway....

When Seren woke up this morning, I told her she could stay home from school. She ended up wanting to go after lunch, as she was suppose to pick up her flute today, and she didn't want to miss that.

For dinner she had one of her dad's favorite foods-Panda Express. Then we talked about him for a little, and I even took him out of my closet. We looked at his ashes and it was then I realized how weird that was. Kinda of surreal in a sense. I still have no idea what to do with him.

Sigh.

He wasn't always the best husband. He made his mistakes, as did I. But I will say this, he was the best father he could be for Seren. He worked with what he had. I think with age comes wisdom, and I know he had regrets concerning how he handled his relationship with his son, and I don't think he wanted to make the same mistakes. He never told me no, that he couldn't get Seren. He would come to her school performances, even for just 30 minutes. He did as best as he could, and Seren adored him.

Here he is with Seren, I don't think she was quite 1 yet. We were in Monterey, one of his favorite places. (Other than being home in Maine.)

These next 3 pictures were taken 3 days before he passed away. Seren loved him so much.

And he loved her, you can see here.

One of my favorite pictures of them. She is such her father's daughter. She looks just like him and has many of his mannerisms. She loves some of the same food he loved, like tuna with Miracle Whip. (Yuck!)

Seren misses him often, and I miss him for her. Not just her, but for her brother.

During this past year Seren and myself had many obstacles to get through, and we made it through, stronger than before. We had many supportive friends. Our Awana family pulled together and supported us both during each of our struggles. They were simply amazing. My friends and my family were there for us as well. I am truly blessed by such people in my life.

Tales of a 4th grade somebody

2011-08-30T23:13:00.001-07:00

Seren has been in school for a week now. Hello 4th grade!

Here she is waiting for the bus on the first day of school.

So far we've had a good week. She gotten up when she's suppose to. She's gotten ready in time. She's even done her homework!!!

Today she turned in her choices for her electives. She really, really, really wants to get into beginning band. I'm so excited for her, I hope she gets it. I'd love to have a band geek as a daughter! ;)

Anyway....I'm looking forward to what this year holds for us. Last year was quite rough, and I'm just happy Seren is doing better. It's so nice to have my good student back. :)

Yay for a new year!!

Here we are together before she got on the bus, on the first day. Two happy girls. :)

SAHM vs Working Mom

2011-08-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

I remember there was a time when I wished I were a SAHM (stay at home mom). I longed to be able to spend all the wonderful hours watching my daughter grow and learn. I was so sad that I had to work and go to school. I was often jealous of those moms who could afford to stay at home and raise their kids. I will say though, I was lucky in that there were times when I was able to take breaks here and there, but for the most part, I've always been a working mom.

The other day at work I helped a mom who was planning on returning to work. She was buying some sort of colic relief just in case her daughter needed it while at the babysitter (who was actually grandma). The mom was so torn on having to return to work. Her daughter was 4 months old, and she just wanted more time with her, she didn't want to leave her with grandma. While we were talking, we both got teary eyed at various points. I loved our conversation, and as we walked away, I realized something. We are both moms. We both love our children. Most moms want the best for their children. Most moms will do what they can to support their children and give them the best. I would like to believe that most moms make decisions based on what is best for her children and family.

Every situation is different. Some moms work because they want to. Maybe they like the independence it gives them. Maybe they like the extra money to be able to spend on their child(ren). Maybe they just like that it makes them feel good about themselves. Maybe they want to instill in their children the value of working and providing for yourself.

Then there are some moms who work because they have to. Maybe they need to put food on the table or pay their bills. Maybe the father doesn't make enough. Maybe the father is the stay at home parent.

Every person comes to the table with something different.

I once watched a Dr. Phil episode (many, many years ago) where SAHM's and working mom's were at each others throat. Each mom felt that they were doing what was best for their family, and that the other mom was doing it wrong. First off, who are we to judge another mother? Well, let me take that back. There are some moms who shouldn't be mothers. Some moms abuse, neglect or just don't care about their children. I'm not talking about those moms. I'm talking about the moms who are truly wanting the best for their children. Shouldn't we be supporting one another? Shouldn't we be standing up together, as women, as moms for our children?

I know I'm living in a Pollyanna kind of world, but is it too much to ask for? Instead of offering advice on how one can make it work as a SAHM mom, when a mom suggests she is going back to work, support her. When one mom says she's going to stop working and stay at home, support her as well. When yet another mom says she's had it and can't handle it anymore, offer to babysit and let her have a day to herself. We are women, we have accomplished a great many thing in this world! So now, let's use our power for good, instead of evil. ;)

As for me, I have to work. If it were up to me, and if I had disposable income, I'd stay at home with my children. And, I actually had that opportunity the past 2 years. I feel it was a good choice for me and my family. Now, after my unforeseen circumstances, I have to work. I was left with rent and bills, and no income. If I didn't work, I'd get evicted, and being a good mother means taking a job (even in retail) to prevent that from happening. Do I miss out on some times with my kiddos. Yes. However, the time we do spend together is filled with love and fun. I think I have it made actually. I work part time, earn money and still get to spend a significant amount of time with my children. I also enjoy working because I have a paycheck at the end of 2 weeks that allows me to do these great things with my children. Not only that, but I kinda really like my job. I love seeing moms. I love first time moms and little babies, and I get to see them both. I get to share my knowledge of parenting with the central valley. It's wonderful! :)

Anyway, all that to say this....Let's start supporting one another. Let's lift each other up instead of tearing each other down. K? Ok.

3rd Grade Art

2011-08-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

Because we've had a busy summer, I have not blogged much. While the first week of school has been a busy one and I was getting ready to post about it, I realized I didn't share any of Seren's art work from last year. So, without further adieu, allow me to brag on my darling daughter for a bit. :)

Here is her animal sculpture from last year. She made the penguin, not the crazy looking squirrel in the background. ;)

Some sort of funky lines. I forget the concept they were studying here.

I really love this one.

Seren's self portrait and poem. I love the words she used to describe herself. :)

Fish are friends, not food!! :)

I love Seren's school. I love that they keep art in school. Not only that, but it's part of the academics. Her school also does very well in test scores. This is a testament as to how important the arts are to students. Bullard Talent can incorporate art, music and dance and still manage to be one of the highest scoring schools in the district. Um, hello, shouldn't that say something to the other schools?

Okay, I'll step off my soap box.

Bowling!

2011-07-30T23:49:00.000-07:00

I took John bowling for the first time this week. He's been when he was a baby, but he didn't actually bowl. This time he was able to bowl and have fun, and boy did he! :)

He is such a cutie.

Love

2011-07-25T22:28:00.000-07:00

The other night John was rubbing his face on my arm and hugging me. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I lu ewe."

Awwwwww. Those are the sweetest words I've ever heard come out of his mouth. He's told me he loves me before, but generally after I've told him first or prompted him. This evening was the first time he's ever told me all on his own.

My heart was so happy. :)

Beach Pictures!

2011-07-22T23:29:00.001-07:00

John-John's first time at the beach! He did see the ocean for the first time with his father and myself, but we didn't play then. Today though, John actually played in the ocean!! But first, sand play. :)

Serensita before she got in the water.

Getting excited and running away from the waves.

Seren swam out pretty far! She loves the water. She would swim all day if I let her.

John-John played so hard he got tired and napped on the beach. Love it!!!!

Quick Recap

2011-07-22T22:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged since Seren's trip to Maine. She had a BLAST!!! She loved visiting with family. She was only really sad the first 2 nights, then after that, it was easy peasy. She spent the night with a couple different aunts and uncles, and with her Grammy and Bumpa. She was treated like the princess she is. :) I love her family for all the love and care they gave to darling Seren. I also love how she was able to enjoy the connection she has with her father's family.

The past couple weeks, since Seren's been back have been interesting. I've been serving on a jury, so that took away from work time. I was able to be home for the kids in the evening, and it was so nice. Reminds me of how I'd like a day job, in my field of study. I really need to get into subbing when school starts. I'm going to make that my focus.

Today my friend and I took our kids to the beach. It was so nice. To sit and hear the wind and waves.... Simply wonderful. I love the beach. I love watching my kids have fun while there. I'm going to post some pictures next, but they're on my phone, so it'll be in a separate post.

This summer is turning out to be a great one, and I'm loving the time I'm spending with my kiddos. Most importantly, I'm loving this month! July has been WONDERFUL! I've had a handful of good news come to me this month. I've celebrated a birthday with friends, who are my family. July has been my month-WOOT!

Up next... Pictures from the beach!

Up, Up and Away!

2011-07-03T18:24:00.000-07:00

My darling Serensita took off to Maine this past Friday. This was her first trip on a plane all by herself. This was also the first time she was going to meet all of her cousins, aunts and uncles on her dad's side. After her father passing away this past year, they really wanted to see her, and she wanted to see them. She told me while we were waiting to go through security that it was a good and bad thing that her dad died. I asked why and she said it was bad because her dad died. However, it was good because if she was sad at school she was able to come home, and if he hadn't died, she wouldn't be going on this trip. Well, I suppose that's one way of looking at it.

Seren was totally fine about the idea of flying alone. I asked her before we booked the flight. We talked about it in great detail. We spoke to her therapist about it. She was excited and counted down the days. I, on the other hand, was a bit more nervous. I mean she was going all the way across the country, by herself. I worried how she'd do on the plane. It was a 5+ hour flight. Turns out it was fine. She was fine. She had snacks, she watched tv, she kept busy. When she landed and called me, she told me it was long flight, but she was happy to be there.

Here she is before taking off, in the airport. My little girl is growing up!

Here you can kind of see her airplane taking off in the background. I waited in the terminal until I saw her go into the air. I just wanted to make sure. ;) Then I was able to track her flight on flightview.com, which was very cool!

Since she's been there, I usually only get calls in the evening saying she's sad and misses me. I knew that the evening time would be the hardest for her. She usually has a hard time sleeping even at home, so I knew sleeping elsewhere would prove difficult. However, today I haven't received a call.

I take that back...I just got off the phone with Seren. She is having a blast! She went boating, tubing, swimming and saw fireworks...At a lake house! Yesterday she had fun with the whole family. They swam and had a huge family cookout. (As those in the East Coast call it.) She also was able to meet her older brother, whom she didn't know about until after her father died. (Her dad had a son 25 years ago.) I'm so glad she's having fun and making amazing memories!

When I dropped Seren off at the airport on Friday, it brought back memories of my summers as a child. I use to spend what seemed like the whole summer with my aunt and uncle in San Diego. Looking back, I don't know if it was really the whole summer or just a couple weeks. Either way, I remember looking forward to my summers. I remember the fun I had with my cousins. We'd ride bikes together, go down to the liquor store and get ice cream, run through the slip and slide. You know, summer stuff. My cousins and I shared a wonderful bond. They were (are) family, but to this day, I feel like they're more than just family. We may not really chat very often, but I still consider us close. Heck, I don't talk to my sisters and brother much and I still think we're close. So, there ya go. :) Anyway, looking back on my childhood memories makes me happy for Seren and the memories she's making now. She's forming relationships that will last a lifetime.

I'm so grateful for her family and all the love they are giving her. :)

Getting Gas

2011-06-23T22:27:00.001-07:00

Baby J LOVES to help me with all sorts of things. On this day he was a great helper at the pump!

Here he is being so careful. :)

"All done!"

I remember when I was a teen I use to love to pump the gas for my aunt. Maybe it's hereditary? Or, we're just a helping family. :)

Father's Day

2011-06-19T22:14:00.000-07:00

Today was an interesting day. I didn't know how Seren was going to handle her first Father's Day without her father. We had talked earlier in the week about what we were going to do, and she wanted to do something her dad liked to do. He liked to eat and watch movies, so we went and had chinese food, then hit a movie.

The day started off just fine. John went to his dad's for the day, and Seren and I headed to church. Today we had our city's Chief of Police speak, as he is a church member. I was curious as to what he was going to say, since I've only ever heard negative things about the guy. Of course, he spoke about fathers. He started off by saying how great it was for some of us to have these wonderful fathers. The more he was talking about how great all these dads are, I was starting to get mad. You see, Seren doesn't have her father. John sees his dad, but for about 30% out of the month. Then there's my own issues with my father, whom I don't have a relationship with. All of these things are floating around in my head while our speaker is talking. I was thinking that maybe I had made a mistake in going to church this morning. ;)

Then he started to talk about my reality. He said that even though there are some wonderful fathers out there, there are way more absent fathers than we realize. Being that he's the Chief of Police, he sees what happens to children when they don't have fathers present. I don't really need to get into details, but we all know that children who come from homes where the father is not present have it a little bit tougher than those children who have their father's present. However, there is one caveat, sometimes it's better when the father is not present. Some families have a father figure who is addicted to drugs and alcohol, is abusive or engages in adulterous behavior. In these instances, he said that it's better when the father is not present. While he's listing all these horrible statistics, I'm thinking, "Great, what chance do my kids have?" Because Seren's dad has passed away, is she going to look for a father figure in every man who comes her way? Is she going to choose to be with the first boy who asks her out, but turns out to be an abusive jerk, and she stays with him because she's searching for something? Then there's John. He visits with his father, but I have my own fears for his future as well. Will he have some of the same struggles his father has? Will he engage in illegal behavior? Will he get into trouble as a teen? Will he be a disrespectful punk?

Then our speaker said something that stuck with me. He said that "it doesn't have to be that way." He said that there are many single moms who do a great job in raising their children. That's when it really hit me, I have to be both parents. I'm doing double duty. (I said duty.) It's kind of scary, but at the same time, it's liberating to know that I can do what I want with my kids. Yes, John goes to his dad's, but I'm the main parent. I am John's main influence. I get to help him grow to be a man, the kind of man I want him to be-loving, respectful, devout, honest and faithful. With God's help, he can be shaped into a fine young man! :)

As far as Seren, I just want her to be confident in life. I want her to trust her decisions. I want her to grow into a beautiful woman, not just outside, but on the inside as well. In a sense I want the same things for her as I want for John.

Once church was over, I was feeling very encouraged. I was also feeling very thankful that I have my crap together enough to know what I need to do for my kids. I'm getting my Masters. I'm bettering myself. I'm growing. I'm learning. I'm loving. Most importantly, I'm living a happy life.

After church, Seren and I had lunch, went to the movies, made a trip to Whole Foods then stopped by and said hi to my grandfather. He's been the father figure in my life, and I'm truly thankful for him.

Here's a picture of the two of us. It was nice to celebrate father's day together, and I see it's going to be our tradition in the years to come. I have a feeling the older she gets, the more the day may affect her. I think I was more worried for her this year than she was. I guess I'm still sad for her at times. At any rate...I'm glad today was a happy day for us both. :)

U Haters!

2011-06-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

I got home late from work last night. Since I'm not usually a night owl, and I get sleepy around 10, I drank an energy drink last night (and all the other nights I close). So, last night when I got home, I was wide awake until about 2am! At one point during the evening I noticed that the downstairs neighbors had company. They had some pretty cute guys over, and the only reason why I know they were cute, was because I got up to close my sliding glass door (they were smoking and I didn't want smoke in my apartment), and one of them looked up at me. I was trying to be quiet, as I didn't want to be seen in my junky pj's, but I guess I was making too much noise. Dang! Next time I'll wear a sexy nightie! ;)

Anyway, I went into the kitchen to close the other window, and I realized I could hear them talking. I stood there, listening to 3 guys talk about movies and other non-sensical stuff. I thought I would hear how guys really talk when the opposite sex is not around, but really, it was pretty much just goofy guy talk. Oh, and a lot of swearing. At one point they were talking about the Celebrity Jeopardy skit from SNL. They were so funny I was trying hard not to laugh loudly, as I'm sure they would have been able to hear me.

Then, right as I was about to close the window, they started talking about this picture.

You see, Seren drew this yesterday. Seren was meaning for it to be that the sun was saying to all of us, "You haters," as we do not like the heat. I guess the guys didn't get that. They started talking about how it was a mean saying, but written in all pink and looked cute and girly. They were laughing, but not being mean or hurtful, thankfully. I had to laugh about it as well.

Ah, my dear Serensita. The things she says and does crack me up. :)

Look who's swimming!!

2011-06-16T21:00:00.001-07:00

It's Baby J!!

We've been swimming for a few weeks now, but today was the first day John swam by himself! He even went in, all alone, from the steps and took off! I'm so proud and amazed at the little guy! It's so stinkin exciting! (And cute.)

Here are the two of the kiddos together. Silly John was making a funny face. It's hard to get a decent picture of him, as he's always on the move. I have a lot of cute pictures, with him making funny faces. It's really quite hilarious.

While at the pool tonight, a fellow swimmer said that the kids had my laugh and smile. Awww! She said she could tell we were all happy. So sweet!

And now, at 8:30 the kids are asleep. (It's been this way the past few nights, after swimming.) If this is what happens after a hard day of swimming, we'll be swimming everyday this summer. ;)

End of School Party!

2011-06-12T20:53:00.001-07:00

Today we had a party celebrating the end of school and beginning of summer! :) Seren invited about 15 classmates, and a few showed up. They all played well together and there was absolutely no fighting. It was a wonderful afternoon with lovely friends. :)

Even though we didn't have too many kids, I prepared tons of snacks and goodies.

Here are the snow cone cupcakes I made. I think they came out so stinkin adorable, and they tasted delicious!!

Close up of the cuppie cakes. Don't they just look like snow cones? I love them!

Here are all the goodies, minus the hot dogs and mac and cheese.

During the party we swam, watched a movie and played the wii. I didn't get any pictures of Seren with her friends-as I'm not sure how parents feel about pictures of their kids in bathing suits on the Internet. Soooo, I just took a picture of Seren and John. They both love the water!!!

All in all it was a fantabulous day.

Hello summer!!

Last Day of School

2011-06-09T17:20:00.000-07:00

I now have a 4th grader. Holy cow!

Today was the last day of school and the first day of summer vacation! And, since Seren has been home, I've been listening to her beg to go swimming, fight with her brother, and come close to saying that she's bored. I'm in for a very, very long summer.

Since I'm stuck home with Mr. Sicky Pants and Wanting To Go Swimming Missy, I decided to clean out her backpack in an effort to not wait till August. ;) I found a half eaten apple, a very old chocolate donut, LOTS and LOTS of papers, 14 books (8 of which should have stayed at school), crumbs, bags from snacks over the year, a cookie, pencils, 2 pencil sharpeners, yarn, graded assignments and art work and someone else's sweater. What an assortment.

Here's to a summer filled with lots of parties, water play, park and zoo visits, trips to far away lands, watching lots of movies and playing with friends. :)

Sicky

2011-06-08T22:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's hard being a single mom. Then, when one of your children are sick, it's even harder.

Poor Baby J had a fever when I picked him up from my grandparents yesterday. My grandma called me while I was at work and told me, and when I left to get him, he was on fire. I brought him home and cuddled with him for the rest of the night. However, poor Seren was kind of on her own. That little girl surprised me. She was understanding about her brother being sick, and she helped me in ways I didn't expect. She was such a big girl last night, and I was a proud mom.

Today was the same. I kept John hydrated and all we pretty much did was lay in bed. It was nice, actually. I don't usually get to lay in bed all day, so in a way I was able to take the time and rest up as well. Not to mention all the love and hugs from John was a nice treat. He's at the age where all he does is go, go, go. He is a loving child, so he will give me kisses and hugs, but it's not an all day thing. Today it was all day (with the exception during the afternoon when we had friends over), and it was nice.

Although, there were some hard times today. I had to miss Seren's award ceremony at school. And even though John felt horrible this morning, I still had to take him out when I had to take Seren to school. Then in the late morning, he was coughing and coughing and he was crying at the same time. At one point he said, "help me." Awwww, it broke my heart. All I could do was hold him and will him to be better. I ended up giving him some Otter Pops, and that seemed to help with his coughing. Thank goodness for frozen colored sugar water!! ;)

Anyway, he's doing much better this evening. He still has a cough, but it's not as severe as it was earlier. He's still clingy, but again, not as bad as it was.

As for Seren...She's been a trooper today as well. Now let's just hope she stays healthy...Tomorrow is her last day of school, then it's summer vacation!!!!! Whooo-hooo!! :)

Beauty

2011-06-06T22:01:00.000-07:00

There is beauty all around us. I see it everywhere I go. Sometimes it's in the people I meet, the conversations I have. Sometimes it's in the smell of spring. Other times I see beauty in my relationships. Most often, I see beauty in nature.

Roses are one of my favorite flowers. They have little personalities all of their own. I wish you could smell these!

This next picture is my favorite. I love the clouds. There is something clean and refreshing about looking up at a bright blue sky filled with white puffy clouds. Reminds me of a day when I was in high school and I was laying on the sidewalk, looking up at the clouds, feeling the wind on my face and the warmth of the sun on my skin.
I know it may be weird to blog about this, as it doesn't really seem to relate to anything. However, it does.

I was looking up at the clouds today. Last night it rained, and today it seemed so clean. The air was fresh and the smell of spring is all around.

Sometime last week I had a moment of clarity. I've realized that things are going well for me. I'm happy with my choices. I have a peace with the way things have turned out, where I am in life and the path I'm taking. I'm happy and excited for the future. I'm excited about the unknown. But most importantly, I'm confident that my actions and decisions have been to the benefit of my family.

Here is my family. They are my life and they are filled with awe and wonder. They make me laugh and they make each other laugh.

See, there really is beauty all around, and my children are the epitome of it.

(As I'm sure your children are to you.)

Thoughts of an 8 Year Old

2011-05-24T21:31:00.000-07:00

Tonight we were all hanging outside. We were playing Simon Says. At one point Seren asked me to get up and help John while she plays Simon.

Seren: Come on, Mom!

Me: Oh, yeah, sorry. I was day dreaming.

Seren: Were you dreaming of eating a churro? Because I smell churros.

I couldn't stop laughing.

And no, I wasn't dreaming of eating a churro.

New Phase

2011-05-22T22:23:00.000-07:00

For those unfamiliar with this, my son has had some speech delays. Back in February he had tubes put in his ears to help with fluid and pressure. Since then he has also been attending speech therapy to make up for some of the speech he's lost. Well, not to catch him up, per se, but to help teach him some of the sounds he couldn't hear before. He's been doing very well and recently he's been talking up a storm. Just this past week he has started to say that he loves me. Awwwwww! Today he's been saying his name like crazy, it's like it finally hit him that he has a name he can tell people. I mean, he's known his name of course, since he answers us, but now he can verbalize it. We were at a friend's house tonight and she asked John to tell her something (while I was in the bathroom). He replied with, "Mama caca." Ahahahaha! Earlier today he copied something I had said, which made me realize that he is now going to start to catch on to everything-which means I have to watch what I say. (Not too hard, I don't usually swear.)

I'm loving this stage! Seren was such a talker at an early age (before 1) and having a child who doesn't talk has been so different. However, that's all changing. He's flourishing! He's saying phrases I can understand! And to watch him realize that he's getting it-simply wonderful.

My John-John is growing into such an amazing little boy. I'm looking forward to hearing new phrases, as I know most of them are going to be cute and funny. :)

I love him so.

Love

2011-05-16T23:06:00.001-07:00

Tonight I told Seren that I was glad she had a good day. She told me, "I'm glad I have the best
Mom ever." Awwww!!! What a sweetheart!

These two are my life. They give me strength to make it through tough times. They make me laugh and smile.

I love them so much I could gobble them up!

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-08T15:33:00.000-07:00

Today has been a great day. In fact, this whole weekend has been wonderful. :)

Yesterday I got to spend the day with a friend, doing all the things we love. We had lunch, went to a movie, did girl things. Then that evening the kids and I, along with my friend, went to another friend's house. I love that the kids play so well together. Seren is making life long friends with my long time friends' kids. Isn't that magical?

Before I took Seren to my friend's house yesterday, she wanted me to take her to the .99 Only Store to get me a mother's day gift. She wanted to go inside the store by herself, which was so sweet. She spent her $5.00 wisely, and today I was able to open up 5 different gifts! She got me some hand soap, a little plaque saying "Mom" on it, a puppy and kitty themed calendar, a card and this cute plant.

Now I know that all this stuff was inexpensive, but it was the thought that counted. Seren's starting to get at the age where she wants to do things to celebrate me (and others), and I loved that she took the initiative in asking me to take her somewhere. I would have been happy with a handmade card, but the fact that she wanted to do this made it all the more special. I just love her heart.

Today started off beautifully. We went to the early service at church for a change. While there, the pastor's daughter got engaged in front of everyone. It was very emotional for me, but I was hopeful to see that true love still exists. It was very romantic.

The message this morning was about Hannah, from 1 Samuel. Hannah had some obstacles in her life, yet she never gave up on her faith. She didn't lash out in anger because of her pain, and through it all she still gave praise to God, keeping her promise to Him. What a wonderful example of a woman!

After church the kiddos and myself went to the zoo. It was such a chilly day out, which is a nice change from this past week. While there we had so much fun! We got to hear the elephants toot their trunks, we saw the tiger up and moving about, saw the baby giraffe (who was born on my birthday this last year) and best of all we saw the baby orangutans. Oh my gosh, they were the cutest things ever! I tried to take pictures, but they came out too dark. (I knew I should have taken my camera and not just my phone.) You know the pictures you see of baby orangutans with their hair standing up? Well, these guys looked just like that! It was truly amazing to see one of the babies try to venture off, as the mama stayed close by, yet allowed her young one to explore. At one point the baby went too far down the fence, and mama grabbed it by its hair and pulled it up. It was too cute. It was also an example of scaffolding at it's finest. I loved watching their interactions, as did the kids. Seren and Baby J were so mesmerized with the babies too.

Here are some pictures from our visit.

Here's the big kitty taking a drink.

Walking around. How beautiful of an animal he is! It was so nice to see him up and about, he's normally sleeping (like most cats do) when we visit.

Taking a break.

When we first got there, by the wolf den. We make a pretty good looking family, don't cha think?

I am so blessed to celebrate this mother's day with my kiddos, whom I love so. They have given me strength when I needed it. They have given me a love I will always cherish. And let's be honest, they also give me headaches, but let's not think about those days. ;)

Now off to enjoy the end of my weekend with another friend! Wow, how lucky can one gal be?! :)

Dentist Fun

2011-04-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

Poor Seren needed to go to the dentist today. She had been complaining of a toothache since last Friday. When we went in, her cavity was so bad that the dentist almost had to pull the tooth. Thankfully he was able to save it and just fill the cavities.

Anyway, because Seren is who she is, she's quite afraid of the dentist. Well, she's mainly afraid of having a tooth pulled. She had one pulled before because of an infection from a different dentist. She hates blood, and is pretty afraid of it. So today when the dentist said he may have to pull the tooth, she freaked out. In order to calm her, the dentist gave her nitrous oxide. Sadly, it didn't really calm her much. Instead, she was acting kinda crazy, but at least the dentist was able to do what he had to do.

During the procedure, I was reminded of the movie The Paleface, this old Bob Hope flick. It was one of her dad's favorite movies. Bob Hope plays a dentist, and a poor one at that. In the beginning of the movie he pulls the wrong tooth from a patient, and indulges in the nitrous oxide himself. He's pretty funny. While the movie is a bit racist (it was 1948, after all), it was a funny one. I was thinking of the movie while Seren was going through her own David after Dentist. I was remembering how much her dad use to laugh at Bob Hope's character, Painless Potter. I may have to look for it on Netflix.

Oh, and Seren is doing just fine now. No pain. She was able to miss the rest of school (thanks to the nitrous hangover), so I'm sure she's even more happy about that. :)

Good News!

2011-04-17T21:41:00.000-07:00

Today I found out that my temporary job is now permanent!!!! Yay for being able to pay my bills!!! :)

I worked overtime last night. Then they asked me to work today, even though I was suppose to be off. I was thinking that maybe this was a good sign. I kept praying that if it was meant to be, then let it be. (Sounds very Beatles-esque.) ;)

It's funny because I wasn't really sure if I truly wanted to work. Don't get me wrong, I WANT to work, but my kiddos were starting to show signs of not wanting me to work. The first day I was away from John for 10 hours! (Seren, too, but she was at school for a lot of the day.) When I picked him up, he was so sad and didn't want to let me go. The next day was okay for both kids, but last night was the worst. John was with his dad, so he was okay, but Seren was with my grandparents all day. When I picked her up, she was sad and upset. When we got home, she cried for over an hour. When I asked why she was sad she said it was because she missed her dad. When I worked in the past, she would just go to her dad's. As I said before, John was with his dad yesterday. Seren even said at one point that it wasn't fair that John got to go to his dad's, but she didn't have a dad to go to. :( And you know what? She's right. She's got the crappy end of this deal. The worst part about it all was that I couldn't help her to feel better. I couldn't take away her pain. She has no father. She's had a rough 8 years, she's been through a lot. And, in the past 7 months, we've had some serious stressors in our lives. How unfair to her. My job as her mom is to protect her. Sometimes I do a good job of it, sometimes I fail.

Sigh.

Anyway, today I worked again, and Seren was okay when I picked her up. John was clingy again, but it didn't last as long as it did the first time. I actually think this job is good for us all, as a family. I'm providing for my family. I'm showing my daughter that she can be a fighter, just like me. I'm showing she can support herself, and how important it is to have a job at times. Now, don't get me wrong, if my circumstances were different, then I wouldn't be working. I think being home with my kids is the best thing for them, but God has a way of making things work out how He wants them to. I had my time with my kids, and they benefited from it. They will eventually adjust to me working, and I have faith that things will work out just fine. :)

I'd also like to add, that these past couple of months I have been really hurting financially. I had a handful of friends and family who helped me, and I wanted to thank them. I have a wonderful support system. Not only do they support me in financial ways, or in buying things for my house (diapers, toilet paper, etc...), but they also lift my spirits. My friends have encouraged me and lifted me up. I truly thank God for those who have stood by my side. I have the bestest friends in the whole wide world.

I realize that I am truly loved.

Back to Work

2011-04-12T14:46:00.000-07:00

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I will now have to return to work.

Part of me is totally excited about it. There is a sense of independence that comes along with working. I can buy what I want, I can get the kids what they want, and I can support myself.

On the other hand, I will miss my kiddos. Seren is at school all day, so hopefully my schedule won't effect our time together too much. John on the other hand, this will be the first time I'll be away from him for long periods of time, and often. He's gone to his dad's over night. He's been with the babysitter while I go to school. He even goes to my grandparents at times when I need to run errands. However, being away from him 20-30ish hours a week (not including school) is a big thing to me. He probably could care less. ;) I'm super thankful and blessed that I was able to have 2+ years to stay home with him. I've loved, loved, loved this time watching him grow into a cute toddler. I've watched him go from one stage to the next. Infanthood, crawling, walking, toddlerhood-all wonderful stages in his life. Thankfully I've been there for them all. I missed out on most of those stages with Seren. Well, sort of. I worked, but part time. Most of her life I've worked. These past 2 years have been good for her as well. I've been able to help in her class. I'm her room mother. I take her and pick her up from school. I'm well, her mom.

So now, we are moving into a new chapter in our lives. I'm excited about what's to come. I'm excited about my future, my future with the kids, the unknown, the possibilities, the new start. :)

Working world-Glad to be back! (Now please be nice to me.)

Just Seren

2011-04-07T13:49:00.001-07:00

While we were at Storyland and Playland last weekend, I was able to capture some single shots of Seren. She's at the age where she doesn't really want to get her picture taken much, so I have to be creative to get her to let me.

I have a picture of Seren in this chair when she was little, I'll have to dig it up. Anyway, here she is, all grown up, sitting in Papa Bear's chair. (From Goldilocks and the 3 Bears.)

Going down the slide, at The 3 Bears' house.

Deciding she didn't really want to go down the slide. Silly girl.

While John and myself were on a helicopter behind Seren, I was able to sneak this picture of her. You can kind of see her peeking through. :)

I'm so blessed to have a wonderful daughter. She really is the sweetest and most thoughtful daughter any mom could ask for.

Storyland

2011-04-04T08:07:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we went to Playland/Storyland. I always, always, always have fun. Every time I take the kids there, I'm reminded of the fun I had when I was a kid. I hope they're making memories that they will also fondly look back upon.

Here are a handful of shots from yesterday.

There was a wittle boy who lived in a shoe. ;)

After listening to the story of Humpty Dumpty.

Ah, the merry go round? (What the heck is this called?) I can't believe that thing is still there. I remember playing on it when I was little. The kids have a blast on it. :)

Getting ready to take the train over to Playland!! Look how cute the two loves of my life are! :)

Family portrait! :)

Smile

2011-03-26T09:51:00.001-07:00

How can you not smile after seeing this?

Love

2011-03-21T19:38:00.001-07:00

I love it when my kids love on each other. It happens, but not as often as I'd like. So, when the moment arises, I feel the need to capture it. :)

This day they were feeling especially loving towards one another.

Too sweet, makes my heart happy.

Fund Run!

2011-03-13T22:38:00.001-07:00

Every year Seren's school has a Fund Run, where all grades run around the track to raise money. It's a fun event, and this year the weather was perfect. :) I missed last year because I think it was too hot, and John was too rambunctious. This year he was actually able to run with his sister. It was too cute! :)

Here comes Seren, round the bend. She looks just like her dad when she walks, it's amazing to me.

Here is Baby J walking with Seren. She is such a good big sister.

Helping use the hole punch. :)

Funny Boy

2011-03-10T19:20:00.001-08:00

John has taken to wearing my shoes. He'll put on my sneakers, my Uggs and even my slippers. I was able to catch him the other day with my slippers on.

I think he was trying to escape. ;)

Look at his face...he knows he's not suppose to be outside without me. (I live upstairs and don't want him to fall and crack his head open...I know, I'm a mean mom.)

The next two pictures he's telling me to go back inside. Little stinker!!! But, he is a cutie, especially when he's wearing my pink slippers!! :)

Monterey Bay Aquarium

2011-03-09T14:28:00.000-08:00

As I'm updating the blog, I'm going through and looking at photos I never posted from trips we've taken. I think I've been a bit stressed since Dean's passing in September. Then from that point it seems to be one thing after another-good stuff, bad stuff and stuff in between.

Sooooo...Let me share the photos from our trip (back in October!) to the Aquarium. :)

John was soooo excited! He pretty much enjoyed the whole day. :)

Seren on a whale tail. ;)

Looking at turtles (I think).

The whole penguin exhibit reminded me of Happy Feet, but the kids liked it, so I had to suck it up.

The 2 joys of my life. :)

My Mecca

2011-03-08T14:24:00.000-08:00

I've made 2 trips to Disneyland in the past 3 months. During our first trip we went to a place I was dying to try-the famous Sprinkles bakery. This bakery was in Newport Beach, so I didn't get to see any famous people. However, the cupcakes were famous enough. ;)

It speaks for itself. :)

Inside.

Look at the beautiful cupcakes!

Not the best picture of me. Not to mention this random dude's butt in the background.

Oh well. I was still so happy to capture this moment! :)

Oooooh, I wonder what's inside?

Ta-Da!!!

The kids absolutely LOVED them!

2011!

2011-03-07T22:35:00.000-08:00

Wow! I haven't posted since last year! ;)

In case you guys haven't noticed, I've been keeping this blog focused on my kiddos. I did start another private blog for my own thoughts, but I haven't posted there in who knows how long. I think I'm starting to realize that with age comes wisdom. I'm starting to realize that I don't really want all my personal thoughts out on the web. So, since I've been going through some things, I've neglected my blog because all of my thoughts are going towards said things. At any rate, I realized that I have missed blogging, and need to get back into it. I miss being able to just ramble on and on. ;) I'm still keeping this blog about the kids, since I enjoy rambling on about them, as they are amazing. However, I plan to share more about us as a family. :)

Let's see. What's new? We moved into a new apartment (did I mention this?) back in December. I love the complex. The best part (aside from the pool)? We have a pond with ducks!!! John and Seren love feeding the ducks, and it's so relaxing! The management is nice, it's a pretty peaceful complex and my area is super kid friendly.

School is going well for Seren, and myself, actually.

John is a firecracker 2 year old if I've ever seen one. We spent most of the day at the park the other day, and he had a blast! He's everywhere!

On a sad note-A few weeks back Seren cut her leg and had to get stitches. We spent 7 hours in the ER, and left with 11 stitches. Well, she left with 11 stitches, I left with a hurt little girl. :( Now we all know how Seren does with blood, and thankfully she handled herself as best as she could. She didn't throw up, and she was a very brave 8 year old. There were a few moments while sitting in the ER that I had wished her father would have been there, as I know he would have comforted her. I know he was there in spirit, but sometimes that's just not the same. It made me think of all moments she'll miss out on having him there, good and bad.

Sigh.

Anyway, I think that's pretty much it. Now that I'm caught up on the latest happenings around here, I can start posting regularly again!

Happy blogging! :)

Stuff my kids ruin

2010-12-30T10:11:00.001-08:00

Okay, so it's only been one kid so far this morning. ;)

Today John has been getting into everything, and all before 9am!!! Punk!

See for yourself.

This here is (was) my compact of blush. He used his finger to dig into it. Oh, and in the process he got it on the carpet. How do you get blush out of white-ish carpet?

Here you see a bowl full of oranges dumped on the floor.

And here, well, we have a future artist who used a sharpie to draw on my computer desk. D'oh!!

I'm telling you, he can sometimes be a handful! A cutie, but a handful none the less. :)

Christmas 2010

2010-12-27T20:01:00.001-08:00

This was the first Christmas we've had since Seren lost her father. I was really worried that we would have some sort of melt down, but all was fine. In fact, I don't think she even mentioned her father at all. I'm super grateful that she was able to spend last Christmas with him. I'm happy she's had moments with him that she will remember forever. Well, at least I hope she remembers them forever. I'm sure there will be some memories she will forget, but hopefully there will be lots she remembers.

Anyway, I'm happy for the love and support she's received from her father's side of the family. They all sent her a Christmas gift, to try to make this holiday special. Again, I'm so happy for their support and love.

As for John's Christmas....It was nice as well. In fact, we all had a nice Christmas this year. It was different than what I had anticipated it being, different in a nice way. For that, I am thankful. :)

Day at Playland

2010-11-11T19:30:00.001-08:00

I'm from Fresno, so when I take the kids to Playland/Storyland, it brings back fond memories of when I was little. (Yeah, I'm that old. Hehehe)

I took the kids there today. Actually, I finally bought a season pass, and I'm super happy to use it. Since it was a holiday (no school), we went with friends and had a wonderful time.

I took this picture to send to my aunt, and had to share it here. It's newly painted, but it's still the lion water fountain I remember from my childhood. :)

Here's Baby J (and part of Seren) on the merry go round at Storyland. He loved this thing!!!!

Waiting for the carousel to start. Seren was being silly. I love this picture.

The 3 Stooges!!!! :)

My darling Serensita. I love her so.

I love that I can share some of my childhood memories with my kiddos, while they get to make their own.

Sweet bliss.

Sibling Love

2010-10-22T23:04:00.001-07:00

Seren loves Baby J. He loves her too. In fact, whenever she leaves for school (or goes anywhere for that matter) he cries. Awww.

Look at their love. :)

So cute!!

Sister's turn to get a pumpkin.

Playgroup Fun

2010-10-22T22:56:00.001-07:00

Earlier this week we went to the cutest pumpkin patch. I can't wait to go back around christmas to visit their tree farm. Anyway, here's John watching the rest of our group try to make it across the bridge. This bridge was super scary, but the kids didn't care, they loved it. :)

What a cutie. :)

I love my lil punkin.

Me and the kiddos

2010-10-22T22:41:00.001-07:00

Matching smiles. :)

At our playgroup. We went on a field trip to this awesome pumpkin patch.

Getting ready for our fun tractor ride! :)

Happy Birthday Seren!

2010-10-22T20:01:00.000-07:00

With all the events surrounding Seren's dad passing, I wasn't able to post on Seren's birthday. Her birthday happened to be the day after the memorial service. :( I really wanted to make her birthday special for her, and I tried to keep the 2 events as separate as possible.

Here are her presents from myself and her grandparents, set up the night before. The 8's were a gift from my friend, who made them to be Seren's party favors. So helpful.

I really have the best friends in the world.

Seren's cake! LOVE it!!! We went to the roller rink for her party, so she has herself on the cake, wearing skates. She's also holding a pug dog, not that we have one, but because that's her dog of choice if we ever get one.

Getting ready to get her skate on.

"Happy Birthday to you!"

Brother enjoying cake. It was dee-lish! Seren picked cotton candy flavor, yum!

Series of Unfortunate Events

2010-10-18T22:32:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since I've blogged about anything. Shortly after my last post, we had some stress to deal with in the house.

Dean, Seren's dad, was having some health issues. Apparently, it had been going on for a month or so (if not longer), and he was just starting to get it taken care of. After a few tests, and a trip to the hospital, he was scheduled to have a second heart bypass surgery on September 22.

Sadly, he did not make it through surgery. He passed away September 22.

This was a day that will live with us for a very long time, if not forever. This was a day where I had to inform my, almost 8 year old, daughter that her father had passed away. That was the hardest thing I have EVER had to do. I didn't want to tell her. I just wanted to pretend like it didn't happen. However, I had to tell her.

There was so much pain in her cries. I wish I could have taken away her pain. I wish I could have made it all better for her.

My friend came over and took us to the hospital. There, I was told the fine details of what had happened during the surgery. Then, when she was ready, Seren went to see her father for the last time.

The moments she had with him were sweet. She touched him like he was, well, her father. She had no fear about him being dead. At one point she rubbed his head, showing him so much love. She held his hand. She looked at his feet. She looked at his face. She soaked it all in.

During the days that followed many of my friends pulled through with love, prayers and kind words. My church family supported us. We were uplifted with lots and lots of love from those around us.

We had the memorial service a little over a week after he passed. At the service, Seren said a few words about her dad. She was so proud. She wanted to share some memories about him, and those she shared were special. She honored him, and it was lovely.

It's been almost a month, and I still can't believe it. Dean's passing kind of stopped my world in its tracks. All my attention focused on Seren, and how to help her through this. Then, I was hit with my own personal emotions concerning Dean. I met him when I was 18 years old. He was part of my life for 14 years. 14 years!!! That's nearly half of my life! I was so emotional about all of this, crying and being sad. I couldn't figure out why at first, I mean we had been divorced for nearly 6 years. But, when I started thinking about how long we had been part of each other's lives, it made sense. How could I not be sad that he died? Even now, I still think about him. I still cry for him. I also cry for Seren and how she's lost her father. He was the best dad he could have been to her. I cry for how she will not have a father figure in her life. When I was explaining that to a friend, she reminded me that God is the father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5). This gives me comfort in knowing that she will be provided for. I will say, though, that I feel even more pressure to stay healthy for her. I am her only parent now. Thankfully, though, she has many family members (and friends) who love her, and will show her the love she needs over the years to come.

Sigh.

Things are starting to fall back into place. Seren is doing fine, for now. She still talks about him. She told me just the other day that she misses him and she wishes she could see him again. Even when she's fine, and doing normal kid stuff, she'll come to me later and tell me something about her dad. So, I suppose, she's acting in a healthy manner.

I think I'll end here. I'll share a couple of my favorite pictures of Dean with Seren, as I think Seren would like it.

Vanilla

2010-09-11T23:45:00.001-07:00

Because I love my kids, we made a trip to Baskin Robbins yesterday. Seren didn't want to be photographed, but I was able to get some fun shots of John.

Here he's looking at his cone.

Happy baby with his vanilla ice cream! :)

Getting ready to dig in!

Lick, lick, lick. :)

When Sister's Away

2010-08-30T13:23:00.001-07:00

What do Baby J and I do when Sister is at school? Have some park fun, that's what! :) The weather has been so nice recently that we had to enjoy some outside play.

Here John is going down the slide. This is the first time he's gone down this slide, as it's normally scorching hot from the sun.

Here he is on his favorite slide.

Run!

My big boy. He went down this slide over and over all by himself. He was so proud! :)

New Glasses!

2010-08-19T14:40:00.000-07:00

Seren got her new glasses yesterday. I really, really, like them. However, while she was picking them out, I didn't say a word. I let her decide all on her own. The only thing I did say was that she needed to get stronger frames than her old pair, and the lady at the optometrist office helped her with that.

So, without further adieu...Say hi to Seren and her new glasses. (Oh, and me without any makeup on.)

Here's her case. She doesn't like it, as you can probably tell from the picture. She doesn't like that it says Princess on it. Yeah, she's not a "girly girl" in that sense. However, this is the case that came with the glasses, so...You get what you get.

Up close of the side...So cute!!

My darling Serensita!!! :)

3rd Grade!

2010-08-16T10:41:00.001-07:00

Today Seren is now a third grader...wow.

She was so excited about school starting, that she got up earlier than she had to this morning.

When I went to drop her off, she didn't want me to walk her to her class. She was perfectly fine all on her own! I was shocked, as in years past, she's wanted me to walk with her on the first day. Guess she's confident, and I couldn't be happier. (Although, also a bit sad about not walking with her.)

So, here she is super excited about her first day of 3rd grade. I love that smile. :)

Swimming!!

2010-08-16T00:29:00.001-07:00

Just having fun at a friend's house. :)

Look at those faces!!!

These guys are too cute. :)

Back to School!

2010-08-15T23:58:00.001-07:00

Last Thursday we had back to school night for Seren. She was soooo happy she got the teacher she wanted, which means I'm happy for her.

Here is a picture of Seren's teacher, well the back of him anyway. And if you look closely, you'll see a little boy in red shorts, sitting there, eager to learn. All in due time my dear. :)

Trying on sister's hat.

Yes, that's the right way...now pay attention. ;)

Here is Seren on our annual meal before school starts. Tomorrow my dear daughter will be a 3rd grader. So, every year, the day before the first day of school, we go out to eat to celebrate. This year we went to IHOP.

Awwww, my little girl is gonna be a third grader!!! :)

Ice Cream Zoofari Part 3

2010-08-15T23:30:00.001-07:00

After the Dino Dig, we headed over to get free artwork. Seren wouldn't let me take her picture, but here's John. He's like, "Look Mom, there's something on my hand."

Here the kids were having fun running up and down this hill.

I remember rolling down this hill when I was little. I also remember the hill being so much bigger than it is now. Ah, just another reason to feel old. ;) The kids loved it, and it made me smile to watch them.

Ice Cream Zoofari Part 2

2010-08-15T23:20:00.001-07:00

While blogging last night, I started to get sleepy. Thus, part 2. :) Turns out there will be a part 3 as well...I guess I can only upload so many pictures from my phone at once.

Anyways....

After having 3 cones, we headed over to the Dino Dig. Evening is the perfect time to play there, as it's not scorching hot. Seren and John loved it there. They both wanted to stay longer. The last picture shows why we had to leave when we did.

Here are my two little chickadees, playing nicely together.

Seren had to get down and dirty. Afterall, archeology is hard work. ;)

Baby J had fun pouring the dirt over and over.

This is why we left the Dino Dig. Guess who was responsible? Yep, John did this to himself. Little stinker!

Ice Cream Zoofari, part 1

2010-08-14T23:40:00.001-07:00

Tonight we went to our local zoo for their annual Ice Cream Zoofari. The zoo opens up for a special night, and serves free ice cream. There were over 20 stations located around the zoo serving yummy ice cream. We had so many (small) cones that I lost count. ;) It really was a fun night, and hopefully we'll be able to go again next summer.

Here's a picture of Baby J enjoying his first cone. It was blueberry flavored, and he loved it!!

Brother and sister enjoying cones together.

"Why do you have to take pictures of me?" Because I love looking at you dear. :)

Smile! He wasn't a fan of the cotton candy, although you'd never know by this picture. Such a cutie. :)

More to come....

Lost Tooth

2010-08-14T22:56:00.000-07:00

My poor, poor Seren. Today was quite traumatic for her. It started off with her only having had 5 hours of sleep. She was excited to go to her father's, so she got up early. Once she got there, it all went down hill.

I happened to be on the phone when this all went down, so when her father called me, I didn't answer right away. In fact, he had to call 3 times before I finally ended my call.

This is what happened.

Seren was looking in the mirror at her loose tooth. She noticed it was way more loose today that it had been yesterday. I guess somehow or another it freaked her out, and she fainted. Right before she fainted, her father said her hands curled over and her body got stiff. She then hit the wall behind her, got a huge bump on her head, then proceeded to throw up. Oh, and when she fell backwards, the fall knocked her tooth out. (Thankfully the loose one.) At the moment of the phone call, she was resting. Her dad didn't know if he should take her to the dr or not. The thing about it is that she throws up just about every time she sees blood. Well, actually, she has gotten quite better at it. She'll have a bloody nose and not freak out about it so much anymore. But loose teeth? She ALWAYS freaks out. I'm not exaggerating. With each lost tooth, there is some sort of drama. The first time she screamed, then threw up, then cried for about an hour after that. The last time (before this time) she lost a tooth, it was not as traumatic, but there was still screaming and crying. So, thinking about all this, I didn't know if her fainting was because of her worrying about her tooth, or if it was something more serious. In the end, she didn't go to the dr. I wonder, though, if I should still take her Monday? I don't know. When I picked her up, she was pretty okay, but didn't want to talk about it. At one point in the evening I felt her head, and her bump is pretty big. Kind of scary, and not just for me either. Maybe it was her lack of sleep, or the bump on her head, but she had a horrible evening. (Well, after the Zoofari.) She wouldn't shower because she was afraid that the water would hurt her head. She had a hard time getting to sleep because she was afraid she'd lay on the wrong side, and then hurt her head. Poor thing. She eventually fell asleep, but I had to sit in there with her till she was asleep all the way.

Sigh.

Oh, and while leaving the zoo tonight she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong she told me she was afraid of loosing the rest of her teeth. Why can't loosing teeth be a fun thing for her? The tooth fairy visits...hello?! Maybe the tooth fairy needs to leave some bigger bills. Yeah, fat chance! ;)

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Over, and over, and over....

2010-08-10T22:59:00.000-07:00

Seren use to watch this movie over, and over, and over. It would end, and I would just start it over. Don't get me wrong, it's a cute movie, but so often?

And now, it's happened again.

John's favorite movie is this one. It's so funny to me that he likes it so much. He really likes music and dancing, so I guess it makes sense.

I think it's so cute when kids have favorite movies. The only bad thing, this means I have to watch them just as often too. ;)

Zoo Visit

2010-08-08T23:39:00.001-07:00

A couple of weeks ago we went to the zoo. John is at the age where he can really appreciate the experience. :)

Here he is in his brand new hat. His old one was a wee bit too small for his ever growing head.

Here is John and Seren. It's not often enough where I can get them in the same picture. Seren got a new hat too. Aren't they so cute? :)

At the petting zoo. Oh boy, John LOVED it in there.

Sister is teaching him how to brush the animals properly. ;)

We'll be hitting the zoo up again this weekend. I bought tickets to the Icecream Zoofari. This is a yearly event where we walk around the zoo and eat all the icecream we want.

It makes for a very lovely evening. :)

Boys just wanna have fun...

2010-07-26T09:52:00.001-07:00

Here are some recent snapshots of Baby J.

Pat Benatar called, she wants her headband back.

Vroom-Vroom! John got to play with this at his friend's house. He just loved it!!

Also at his friend's house. They always have the best toys! Even I liked this pool. ;)

Here's John, this morning, working on his tool bench. You just gotta love that face!!! :)

Watching Trains

2010-07-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

This is how Baby J watches trains (or anything for that matter) on Youtube.

I think he thinks he's the king. (Not the king.) ;)

Circus!

2010-07-16T23:12:00.001-07:00

I love taking my kids to the circus. Every year there are two events I look forward to...the circus and the fair.

This year the circus had a train theme, which made John happy. :)

Here is a picture of John waiting in line to go in. He wasn't quite sure what he was in for.

Once inside, we went down on the floor for the pre-show. After that, we had to get our yearly $12 snow cone. Here's Seren enjoying the one she picked out.

John picked out a cup that lit up. He's too cute, huh? :) And you know what? He ate just about the whole thing!!!!!

After the show. This is my favorite picture. I love my Serensita.

Now to look ahead to the fair!!!! :)

Park Fun

2010-07-13T13:38:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we went to a park by our house. Seren really enjoyed the water part, but John, not so much. Either way, they both had fun. :)

Here's Seren under a fountain.

Here's my model of a son...I told him to smile, and this is what he did. Funny little guy.

Bit of Construction

2010-07-13T13:25:00.001-07:00

Well, I've had this blog since June of 2004. Up until the other day, the name was always The Shop Around the Corner. I made some changes the other day, and one of those changes involved changing the name of my blog.

Join me in welcoming my new name to the blogosphere.

Happy reading!

Private

2010-06-27T22:00:00.001-07:00

This time tomorrow I'm going to be making my blog private again. I was going to do it tonight, but I know that I have some anonymous readers, who I wanted to give a heads up. If you'd like to continue to read my blog, you'll have to send me an email, and I'll add you to my list. Go to my profile, and the link to my email is there.

I'm sorry, I do hate to do this, but circumstances as they are force my hand.

Forgive Myself?

2010-06-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

Here's a novel idea taken from another DivorceCare email.

Forgive Yourself

Day 48

You become your own greatest enemy when you do not forgive yourself.

"Sometimes it's hard to forgive yourself after divorce because you don't want to admit you did anything wrong," says Rose Sweet, "and because the other person is usually pointing the finger at you or other people are putting you down for your failure in the marriage. That's giving God-like power to all those people who are putting you down. Just stop. Go to God and say, 'Lord, show me what I've done wrong. Help me seek forgiveness, and help me let go of everyone else's opinion of me.'"

"The most difficult person to forgive may be yourself," says Doug Easterday, "because you were there when you made mistakes, and you remember your attitude and the inappropriate things you have done, said, or even thought. But forgiving yourself is such an important arena. It means that you choose to walk in the higher realm."

Forgiveness is a process that will take time, and it is also a choice. Decide that you will forgive yourself just as God forgives you, even when you don't feel you deserve it. One awesome characteristic of God is that you don't have to measure up to certain standards to deserve His love. You don't have to follow certain rules or act in a particular way. He loves you no matter what you have done. God sees you inside and out, and He continues to extend His love and forgiveness to you.

"I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name" (1 John 2:12).

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).

I'm not sure if I've ever thought about forgiving myself for anything. It seems like an odd concept. Not because I'd be admitting I've done wrong, because I have, but because who forgives themselves?

This gives me something to really think about.

Care to share your thoughts on this?

More Encouragement

2010-06-23T23:06:00.000-07:00

Here is another email I received today.

Forgive Everyone Involved

Day 47

Forgiveness can seem utterly impossible. The hurt and rejection cut too deep. The pain is aggravated when it's not only your spouse who has wounded or abandoned you, but also your former spouse's parents or siblings, friends you had shared as a couple, or others who have chosen to "take sides."

You may justify your unforgiveness with many seemingly good reasons: "I can't forgive the lies and deception," "I can't forgive what he or she did to the children," "I can't forgive the shame he put me through," or "I can't forgive her for trying to turn my children against me."

"Many people," says Sabrina Black, "are sitting somewhere nursing their wounds and saying, 'It's not right. It's not fair; they should come back and make this up to me.' Those people keep getting hit. If they would get up, even though it's not right or fair, and get themselves into recovery, they will go on with their lives."

God commands us to forgive. Because He commands us, then it is possible for us to forgive, no matter what the circumstances. He doesn't promise that it will be easy, but He promises that it can be done.

"It'll take a miracle for me to forgive my husband and his mistress—well, our Lord is in the business of miracles," says Harriet.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times'" (Matthew 18:21-22).

Wow, I really feel like God is trying to tell me something here. Yesterday it was to let go of anger. Today it is to forgive.

Funny how sometimes we (okay, maybe just me) need to be reminded of the simple things. So basic, yet so true.

Encouragement

2010-06-23T00:13:00.000-07:00

I got this in my email this evening. I subscribe to DivorceCare emails. DivorceCare is a Christian support group that will send out emails filled with encouraging words, to help those going through a divorce. I wanted to share this one tonight because the words are powerful and comforting. (To me.)

Let Go of the Pain
Day 46

"When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, 'Do you want to get well?'" (John 5:6).

Are you purposely hanging on to pain, anger, or blame? Are you living off of those emotions? Perhaps you feel that your negative emotions bring you satisfaction or a feeling of control. Do you sometimes think it feels good to get angry at your ex-spouse or to share stories that highlight your ex-spouse's faults? Let go of the negativity that you are clinging to. You don't want your new identity to be grounded in bitterness and resentment.

You must build a new, solid foundation for your life. This foundation must be different, stronger, and deeper than your last. If you build your life in Jesus Christ, you will not be shaken.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash" (Matthew 7:24-27).

I need to rely more on God. I need make Him my rock, my foundation. I need to stop trying to control things. I need to let go of blame, anger and pain. Wow, so powerful.

This email really spoke to me. It's like God was saying, "Um, Tiffiny, remember my word. Be loving and kind. And, of course, remember me. Remember I'm here for you. You have to stop relying on others and rely on me."

So true.

Deep Thoughts

2010-06-22T20:26:00.000-07:00

*I'd like to say that this post is super personal, please be kind.*

I once had a friend tell me that I could benefit from a codependency meeting. My first thought was, "I'm not codependent." My second thought was, "What's codependency?"

I've also had someone tell me that I'm as sick as that person is. My thought was, "I'm not sick. I don't have a problem." Ha...joke's on me.

Somewhere along the way, a few weeks back, this book was recommended to me. It's called Codependent No More by, Melody Beattie. I started reading it last night and do not want to put it down. Not everything spoken about describes who I am, but quite a bit of it does.

Let me share some of what the author says:

"Most codependents were obsessed with other people. With great precision and detail, they could recite long lists of the addict's deeds and misdeeds: what he or she thought, felt, did and said; and what he or she didn't think, feel do and say. The codependents knew what the alcoholic or addict should and shouldn't do. And they wondered extensively why he or she didn't do it." Guilty.

"Yet these codependents who had such great insight into others couldn't see themselves...And they didn't know what, if anything, they could do to solve their problems-if, indeed, they had any problems other than the alcoholics." Guilty again.

"I saw people who had gotten so absorbed in other people's problems they didn't have time to identify or solve their own."

Hmmm, sounds familiar.

Yet it was this next statement that slapped me in the face.

"I worked with people who were indirect because the systems they lived in seemed incapable of tolerating honesty."

Wow. That is the epitome of who I am.

Let me share a story. One issue I had in my previous marriage was lack of honesty-on my part. We were behind on our rent, and I took care of the bills. Instead of me being honest and explaining this to my husband from the get go, I didn't say anything, and then it got worse. I thought I could fix it on my own. I didn't want to fight, and I will do anything to avoid confrontation. I hate it. I hate telling someone my feelings, good or bad. Wait, let me rephrase that. I hate telling them my feelings about them. I'm not sure if it makes sense. I can spill my guts out here on this blog, but sometimes I can't say something to someone if I think it may hurt their feelings or make them mad. I am a people pleaser. (Another codependent term.) On the flip side, if I think I'm going to be rejected, I don't say anything positive either. I have friends who say I'm welcome over anytime, yet I rarely invite myself over in fear that she'll say no. Oh, and an even better example, I will only ask people for things that I'm positive they are going to say yes to. Like, "Can I use your bathroom?" No one has said no to me yet-Yay for no rejection!!! (I'm also being polite.) Lame, right?

So, in thinking about the issue with the rent and my husband, I just didn't want to make him mad. I was afraid. Of what, I don't know. Sure, he may have been upset that I didn't tell him. Yes he would have been mad that it got out of hand. But, he wasn't going to beat me.

Just like everything, this all stems from my childhood. I grew up in a home where drugs and alcohol were frequently used. My step dad abused me to the point where Child Protective Services removed me from the home. I constantly lived in fear. No matter what I did, if he were in a bad mood, I wouldn't have been able to please him. I can recall a number of times when I told him the truth, only to get punished for lying. I did all that I could just to survive, and most of that included trying to make him happy. I had no idea what would set him off, so I did my best to be perfect. And, of course, I was never perfect enough.

From that point, I lived with my mom and step dad off and on. When I got older, the beating stopped, but the verbal and emotional abuse didn't. The drugs and drinking didn't stop either. (Things are different now. My step dad's issues just recently led him to take his own life. And my mom is now working very hard at being a good mom and grandma.)

So, when I became an adult, I never worked through these issues. (Issues I didn't know I had.) Sure, I've spent lots of time in therapy talking about my childhood (who hasn't), but I've never actually tried to work on myself. I've not tried to get over these problems I've had. This idea of me being afraid if I tell someone something bad is ridiculous. Well, sort of. I have to realize that people do get mad, but I can't do anything about that. I guess I can only control my end of the situation. I say I guess, because I haven't heard what the author of this book suggests. If I'm being honest here, I have to admit, I've never really known why I'm "indirect" in certain situations. When I read that sentence, I stopped dead in my tracks. It made total sense. I have been so afraid of some people's reactions for so long. So long. I don't want to live in fear. I want to be able to be honest with people without worrying what they're going to think, feel or say.

I have no idea how to do this, but hopefully I'll learn.

Thinking

2010-06-21T23:45:00.001-07:00

I started writing this very long blog post earlier today, but then decided against publishing it. It had to do with these 2 books I'm reading, and some discoveries I've made about myself. While writing, I kept reading and discovered even more. I then had to rethink the direction I was going in my writing.

So, now that I didn't finish my blog post, I can't sleep. I have too much on my mind. It's like I had an "ah-ha" moment and can't share it. Well, I can share it, but it'll have to wait till tomorrow.

For now...I'll lay in bed and think.

Kiddos dancing

2010-06-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

Open House

2010-06-20T21:02:00.001-07:00

Seren is no longer a second grader. I can't believe that time has gone by so quickly. I remember her first day of Kindergarten, thinking how special it was. Then the first day of first grade was an emotional one for us both. The first day of second grade was much easier. I guess his means that next year, the first day of third grade was be even easier? Doubtful. I hear things get a bit more stressful in third grade. However, being that I like her school, I know we'll make it through. :)

Anyway, before I start thinking about third grade, I'd like to celebrate Seren's sucesses in second grade. Most of these pictures were taken at open house night.

This is Seren's sculpted bulldog.

Here is a painting done in art class. I forget the technique and artist who was studied.

This is a box of bugs. They studied bugs, and kept some for class pets. All I have to say is....ewwww, and who knew they lived in oatmeal.

This was one of Seren's favorite projects. The class disected owl pellets. They also wrote a story about owls, then drew a picture. Seren loves her owl drawing.

Here is a close up of the owl drawing. Seren loves it so much, I put it up in our room.

This picture is my favorite. It's Seren's self portrait. I just love how she sees herself. :)

Finally, here's my darling Serensita getting awards at the end of the year. She's in the light blue dress, straight ahead.

I'm so proud of my daughter! She's growing into such a wonderful young girl!!

I love you Seren!

Seren's Photo Shoot

2010-06-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

I bought Seren this new outfit the other day. She loved it so much, she wanted to take a bunch of pictures. She seems to have out grown her picture phase, so I seized this moment and got her to take a picture with me. So, here we are together. I wasn't really anticipating taking any pictures when I got up that morning, so I'm all natural...No makeup, hair not done. I know, I know, my beauty is on the inside. ;)

Posing in front of the pool.

Taking time to stop and smell the roses. :)

Serious pose.

She's such a cutie who's growing up fast!!!

House Cleaning

2010-06-17T23:34:00.001-07:00

Baby John has been having fun with this new spray bottle.

I have the great video of him squirting water out of it, but he broke my video camera, and I can no longer upload videos. :(

The same day I took this picture. He was walking around the house pushing this toy, and holding his squirt bottle. He was pushing the toy like it was a vacuum, it was too cute. :)

Hi

2010-06-17T12:06:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to say hi to all those who read my blog on a daily basis. It's nice to have a following. :) It's also nice to know that people want to hear what I have to say. I will admit, I am pretty fantastic. (Said with Nacho Libre accent.)

Things He Says

2010-06-15T10:28:00.000-07:00

Baby J talks a lot. Most of what he says sounds the same, but still.

For instance...dada. He uses that for many things. He says "dada" when pointing at Sister. I'll say "sister" and he nods his head yes, as if that's what he said. We have a friend names Shraddha. When calling her he says, "dada." It sounds the same, really. However, he'll also say dada when talking about his dad. When he sees the backpack he takes with him to his dad's he'll say, "dada." It really is funny.

Yesterday he started saying, "ine." (Mine) He had something that I was taking away from him and he said, "ine." It took me by surprise, and it also took me a second to figure out that's what he was really saying. He did it again last night. We were babysitting, and the little girl took her toy away from him. He pointed at it, looked at me, and said, "ine." Awwww. (Just right now he pointed to his cup that Sister brought him and said, "ine." He really is too cute!)

The other morning when he woke up, he said, "papa." (What he calls my grandpa.) He said it before he even said my name! Punk!

He says "hi" to everyone. He'll come into a room and announce to everyone, "Hi!"

When he wants something to drink, he'll say "wa-wa." When he wants to eat, he'll say "num-num."

And 2 of his favorite words...."ball" and "woo-woo." (When he's talking about trains.)

Oh, and I almost forgot...He, of course, says "mama." :)

It's so nice to see all of this in writing, because when I'm around him everyday, I sometimes think, "He never says anything." So not true.

I so love listening to his little voice. :)

I Love His Laugh

2010-06-14T15:05:00.000-07:00

Here Baby J is watching one of his favorite shows...The Umbilical Brothers. It's the same guys from The Upside Down Show. This show is shown somewhere outside of the United States, I think in Australia. Some of the episodes have swear words in them, so he doesn't watch those, but this one is safe.

You can see how much he loves these guys. :)

Jumping

2010-06-14T14:20:00.000-07:00

Here's a video I took the other night. Baby J was having too much fun jumping off this box. He kept doing it over and over. Once I took out the camera, he came over to me, but I at least got some of it on video.

Enjoy. :)

Encouraging Words

2010-06-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

This came to me via email this morning. It was just what I needed to hear.

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.

~ Deuteronomy 31:6, NLT

Guess What?

2010-06-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

I'm down 2 more pounds!!!!

This makes a total of 10lbs that I've lost. Now I know this isn't The Biggest Loser type of loss, but it's the kind of weight loss that's good for me.

Oh happy day. :)

Lookin good!

2010-06-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

Hope you like the new look!!!

I love the options Blogger has given us!

Cuppie Cakes!

2010-06-08T23:02:00.000-07:00

If I can do nothing well, I can at least make cupcakes. :)

As Seren's school year is coming to an end, they had a class party to celebrate. I offered to make the cupcakes. I found these cute faces, and thought the kids would love them.

Here they are before the faces.

Here are the faces! Seren did most of them. The few I did, I copied the ones from the site. Seren was way more creative and made up faces all on her own.

Now, here she is, being silly, enjoying the cupcake.

All the kids LOVED them, I'm so happy they were a success! :)

New Pool!

2010-06-07T20:15:00.000-07:00

My uncle bought a new pool for everyone this summer. Both kids love it. I only have video of Seren, since it's kinda hard to take a video when I'm in the water with John. ;) So, I have a feeling that there will be lots of pictures of Seren this summer, but not many of John...Until he learns how to swim, that is. Is 19 months too early? ;)

Enjoy the video!

Summer's Here!

2010-06-06T14:49:00.001-07:00

While we were out all day yesterday, my uncle put up the pool he had bought. Seren was super excited! Today I made her wait till noon before she could get in, and boy was that hard for her!

Here she is, swimming.

And, here's a fun picture. The ball was popping out just as I snapped the camera. How lucky!

After Baby John came home, we joined sister in the pool. He was aprehensive at first, but soon loved it! I need to get him some water wings or something. He did not want me to hold him, he wanted to swim all on his own!

Soon, baby, soon. :)

Wink, wink.

2010-06-05T22:06:00.000-07:00

From this week's PostSecret.

I'm not saying that this is my secret, but it just reminds me of how much I miss working at the library. :)

Park Fun!

2010-06-04T12:50:00.001-07:00

Today we met our friends at the park, and were pleasntly surprised to find the water open again! I was just at this park 3 days ago and the water was off. Hmmm.... Anyway, what fun the boys had! John isn't normally a fan of water, but he did get his feet wet and splashed a little.

I hope they keep it open all summer, because it would add to the fun places we can go to cool off.

She's Talkin Again

2010-06-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Well, today I had a visit with my therapist. I'm not going to go into everything, but I will go into one subject in particular.

I tend to have diarrhea of the mouth.

Now some of you reading this may think, "Well ya, duh." For you, stop reading. ;)

I tend to be a person who will say whatever to whomever. Generally about me, my past, my life, but not usually my true emotions. I mean I do have this blog, which has gotten me into trouble on many occasion. I tend to say too much. The problem with this, is that I don't mean to say too much. I just offer information. Writing helps me to think things through. However, it can be a bad thing. I tend to leave myself vulnerable when I talk too much. How, you wonder? Well, some people can be nosey (for a lack of a better word). For example, I use to have a friend who I worked with. She would often ask me question after question after question. Instead of not answering her, I would answer every question, no matter how personal. I felt like I wasn't being honest if I didn't give her the information she was asking for. Then, if I asked her something, she rarely answered any of my questions. This was a very uneven relationship. In fact, it wasn't really a relationship. I shouldn't be that open with co-workers. If there were ever a problem, then she could have used all the information I had given her about me, on me. Get it? She wasn't the only person who's been that way in my life. I can think of someone in particular who took something I told her, and then used it against me later. So, if I'm not in a relationship (friendship/romantic/family) then I need to learn to not be so open with that person. I kind of think that it's dishonest of me to not be open when someone asks me a question. However, my therapist pointed out to me that I'm being dishonest to other people, when I share something that we've shared. For example...Say my co-worker asks me something about my grandma's cooking (just making this up), and I tell her that I don't like the way she cooks pork chops. I'm being dishonest to my grandma, and I'm also gossiping about her too. Because if my co-worker ever sees my grandma, then she has this idea that she cooks pork chops poorly. (Cooking is a bad example, but do you get what I'm saying?) Also, my co-worker could possibly use what I've said against me later. So, unless I'm in a relationship with someone, I need to guard what I say.

How do I do this, you ask? Well, my therapist gave me some good pointers, that I'd rather not share them. (Can't give away all my secrets...In case I need to practice on one of you guys. hehehe) I will say this though, one pointer involves boundaries. Mine, and others'. Can you believe that? And of course, I need to be aware of what I'm saying, which means I need to also give myself boundaries. Let me tell you how hard this is going to be. I'm so use to just talking and talking and talking (hence, this blog), but I need to stop that. I need to guard my words. I'm not talking about expressing my feelings. In fact, it's good that I talk often with my friends. It's good to share my emotions. I just need to be more aware of who I share my life with. I'm not going to stop blogging, as most of the stuff here isn't that important, but I will try to think twice before writing a post. However, most people who read my blog are my friends, so I'm not too worried.

Now I'm rambling.

Does any of this make any sense?